A lot of things have happened. I was asked to return to my office job, which I started again almost instantly.
It was also my exam period so I got study leave and also sat my exams. Although I take four papers, one of my papers didn't have an exam (instead it had an internal test) so I had three exams. What I thought was going to be my hardest exam turned into my easiest and what is usually my easiest turned into a nightmare that I struggled with. I actually seriously fear failing it. Or passing with an incredibly embarrassing low mark. Go figure.
During my study breaks, I enrolled in summer school. I toyed with the idea for a while and next thing I knew, I received a bill. I will be doing two geography papers during summer school. I was wait listed for one of them but I think I jumped the queue because I fit all the criteria and restrictions for the course. One day I was in 44th place and the next I had been enrolled.
October also was my ambitious month. I made lots of plans to be productive and adventurous these holidays. I bought my plane tickets to Melbourne at the end of the year, and I also made a list of adventures in New Zealand.
Getting my full driver's license is at the top of the list, followed by climbing up every mountain in Auckland, starting with Rangitoto. I've also got plans to visit the beautiful Cape Reinga. I've never been but I've heard amazing stories about it.
Now I sound like the crazy adventurous type. Not quite. It's a weird thing I have with my friend, Shu. We make these elaborate plans to do crazy things we don't usually ever consider doing. Then we get over excited and if we ever do get around to accomplishing them.... We just complain about it. Oh not this time. I even created a Facebook event so we will definitely at the very least go to Rangitoto Island.
I also went to a Shiseido Warehouse Sale. Probably will post about what I bought later.
But in the weekend, I received an email from my friend in Japan who I sometimes help with her translations. Her boss decided to pay me every month. So from next year, I'll be enjoying a bit extra money. That is if I can be bothered transferring the money into NZD.
End of exams came terribly fast and just this past Sunday, we had a softball game which was followed by a BBQ get together in the city. I went to the end of the softball match because I am pathetic. Then we drove to the city where I drank with YJ, Shu, YRK and basically everyone there. We started off with bubbly. I had two. I didn't like the second one so I downed that pretty quickly because someone brought out the plum wine. I downed that even more quickly because I like plum wine and I wanted to try the yuzu sake. Which was disgusting. Ugh. Then someone brought out the Chu-hi and I jumped to my feet an got myself a peach flavoured one. Which I regretted because the lemon one tasted like lift and was delicious. Peach was ok too. Someone brought out Shirosasa and I wanted to try that so I poured myself a cup but I downed that in one go and washed it down with Chu-hi because it was disgusting too. I didn't like the cloudy taste. Everything before the Chu-hi was about 12% alcohol so by the time I opened the can of Chu-hi, I was drunk enough to not be able to taste the alcohol. It was delicious. And I was really drunk and everything was hilarious.
By this point, I'm pretty sure I've declared my thoughts to everyone who I thought was beautiful and I probably had also stopped drinking and started drowning myself in my sorrows with alcohol. Also, feeling really bitter and resentful towards someone there.
He joined us and I'm not sure whether I was angry at or scared with him. I was drunk though and he knew it.
So around 8 ish, (two hours since I started drinking) I still had rational thought. Drunk but I still knew I had driven to the city. I pulled out my keys and dumped them on the table. Then slowed down. Except the man kept putting alcohol in front of me "just shut up and drink!" So sometimes I did because I was either mad at him or scared because I've lost a friendship with him. I slowed down either way and declared I could not drink anymore because I needed to drive home. I think two people said to me that there's no way I was driving and I basically told them to shut up because I was giving myself an hour to sober up. At 8:30, I blacked out at the table.
An hour later I woke up and I was still drunk. Still couldn't walk straight and I had trouble speaking. But I was way more rational than before. I walked off and threw up to sober myself up a little and returned.
I then met a girl and for some reason, we started hugging and she was really nice to hug. So in a corner behind the group we kept hugging and talking drunk talk to each other. She kept kissing my cheek and neck and kept holding my face in her hands, telling me its going to be just fine.
All in front of the one man I wanted so badly to be with. And ugh in a drunk slur, she spilled her pathetic love story to me and I spilled mine to her and she just continued hugging and kissing and stroking my hair and face and kept telling me how fine everything is and how she understands my pain and I'm gonna meet lots of new people because I'm young. And I just kept telling her I knew that but because I'm stupid, so I didn't want to meet anyone because I loved him and no one else will be better. Also, no one else would love him more than I.
Eh. I don't know if it was the alcohol or if it was because sometimes it looked like he was staring at us or because she smelt so good, I just kept hugging her and letting her glomp me.
Yes. I was so drunk I kinda made out with a girl. Dayum gurl, I have issues. Also I am pathetic and he doesn't deserve my feelings. Whatever. I know.
It wasn't till around 11:30 that I got into my car. Oh can I tell you how confusing the drive home was. I knew where I was going. I knew exactly how the roads worked but I didn't recognise half the route home. To top it off, there was a detour because they were fixing the roads.
I got home and I was still tipsy which I didn't realise until I was in the shower. After my shower I had hoped to be completely sobered up by then. Not exactly so I did my best not to stumble into the kitchen and grabbed myself a banana. Boy did that sober me up real quick. It was like getting high on drugs. When I climbed into bed, I thanked the heavens above for getting me home alive and prayed I didn't die in my sleep. I already did well earlier when I had the sense I slump forward onto the table in case I vomited and choked to death on my own vomit. I didn't wanna kill my lucky streak.
The next day I woke up and took the train to the city to meet Shu. We went to the Australian embassy to get visa forms only to discover that visas were moved to another building. There was a really shitty map designed to navigate us to that building. It was really bad. And I Actually had the opportunity to say "trust me, I'm a geography student."
When we finally managed to find the right place, they told us we could get it over the Internet. Fine. So we left and walked up queen st, stopping at various shops. We went to moustache for cookies and milk. I spilt milk twice down my clothes. I don't know whether I was still drunk or whether it was my subconscious telling me to lay off the milk. After that delicious cookie, we arrived at our destination to have Korean BBQ. Every time I have it, I declare I'll never have it again. Much like alcohol. I drown my pathetic sorrows in alcohol and meat. They have the same effect: make me happy. At least for a bit then I feel like crap. So what?!
Following this I really needed a drink. A fruity or refreshing one so I got a passion ice shaken tea from Starbucks. Truly downing my sorrows.
tonight, I went to a stupid speed dating event. It's actually a research event. My friend wanted to go and I went with the idea I was supporting her. Except I signed up for it first because I'm a doing person. If I make up my mind and take a stand on something, I go ahead and do it. All in or back off, right?!
Except everyone was so young and I was so uninterested. I imagined older guys. Clearly I didn't give it much thought because in hindsight, oh of course! I'm old!!!! Most bored me to death. I was glad for the bell. The ones that didn't bother me and I would give the opportunity to know them better were still too young for me. Too eager. Too over achieving. Too naive. To puppy dog like. Too useless. Too chirpy. Facebook friends would be fine.
I also learnt how much I detest small talk. I'm one to lose interest very quick. Things have to be dynamic and exciting and engaging for me to bother. Things have to take the lead to get me excited because I sure am not going to bother!
That and might possibly be because SC had ruined dating for me because of his perfect dates and perfect conversations. Even awkward moments aren't awkward because we both don't care. Fuck him. If I can't have him then I feel sorry for the poor guy who winds up with me because he'll just be second best. Or I'll just stick to myself. That way at least I don't kill the hopes and dreams of some other person. Ugh. I hate small talk. Dates should be effortless and you should be relaxed. Curse SC and his perfect dates.
So there it is. I'm a pathetic girl in love with a man who's not interested in anyone but himself.
